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[13thcommander]

"Hello, this is Erwin Smith. I'm unavailable at the moment; please leave a message and I will contact you as soon as I'm able."


ACCEPTED: WALKIE TALKIE
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ACCEPTED: 323 MIDWICH STREET
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323 Midwich Street, lateish January morning

[ribticklers]

[Sans knocks on Erwin's door one morning casual as he always is.]

Hey, figured I'd pay you back for carryin' my tree with somethin' weird I saw.

[Information in exchange for tree-carrying?]

[13thcommander]

Good morning, Sans.

[Erwin smiles, pleased to see his visitor.]

Would you like to come inside? I'm afraid we're finished with breakfast but I can offer you some coffee, if you like.

[ribticklers]

I'm not gonna turn it down. [Free coffee is quite similar to free food, and Sans appreciates free food. Also, it'll be safer to talk inside, anyway.

So, once the door is closed behind him:]

I found somethin' in the police chief's wallet. Or a wallet he had, anyway.

[13thcommander]

Oh?

[Consider Erwin interested! He looks back over his shoulder as he leads Sans to the kitchen.]

When were you spending time with the police chief? The man isn't particularly friendly.

[ribticklers]

Only if "caught him sleeping in his car" counts as hanging out. [Sans will sit himself down at the table once they're in the kitchen.] The wallet was sittin' on the floor of the car.

[13thcommander]

... you're a bold man, Sans.

[Which Erwin can appreciate! He pours them both a cup of coffee and sets them on the table, along with the milk and sugar to turn them into delicious sludge.]

What did he have?

[ribticklers]

[Sans puts only a little sugar and milk in his. He's gotten used to his human body enough to know what it seems to prefer, at least. As far as being bold, he waves a dismissive hand at that.]

I was just in the right place at the right time. I found this old photo--like, real old--of these kids in Halloween costumes. So I go and look up how the costumes here work, and those are modern costumes. Like, should be from this year or last year, right? But that photo was way older than that.

[Who knows how long it's been 1961?]

[13thcommander]

[Erwin has had a human body his entire life, and his demands sugar. After a lifetime without it, he's discovered the joys of real coffee with real sugar, and has been on a bit of a hedonistic streak with both.]

Interesting.

[Erwin taps on his chin thoughtfully. Photography is still a new technology to him, so he's going to need more clarification.]

I assume you're more familiar with photographs than myself. How old would you say the photo was?

[ribticklers]

It felt like it might fall apart when I took it out of the wallet--I was checkin' for writing on the back--so it's gotta be years old. [Admittedly, Sans isn't entirely sure about the photograph tech here, since it's more old-fashioned than what he's used to, but he has a general idea.]

[undiagnosed]

[erwin might come across a Problem in the department store one day near one of the technology stores. archer randy's stood outside, apparently unhappy with the poor guy who works at the door.]

You don't have-- how do you not know what a microwa- [he cuts himself off, putting his hands on his face and leaning back with a loud groan.] Oh my god. Oh my godddd, they weren't invented until '67! This decade is so shitty!

[poor guy. he doesn't really know how to respond to what archer's saying. he tries to offer any other assistance to whit archer snaps back:] I don't know, Glenn, why don't you get a degree in engineering and invent it right now?!

[13thcommander]

[Sigh. And here Erwin thought he was going to have a nice, quiet day downtown, going to the department store and buying more film for his new camera. He hears Randy before he sees him, and as luck would have it, he's parked himself right in front of the store Erwin wants to go into, hassling the poor guy who works there. Glenn might be a Robbie, but he doesn't deserve this.]

Randy.

[Erwin is... not excited to be talking to Randy, exactly, but at least he's in his right mind this time.]

Randy, you're making a scene.

[undiagnosed]

Oh, for-- [archer, naturally, thinks that erwin is going to be the same as he was before.] MY NAME'S NOT RANDY, IDIOT!

[he throws his hands up, cane included, and turns away from the two men. how is his first reaction to want to give them a bad review online? god, he's getting old.]

Whatever!

[13thcommander]

Your name isn't Ray, and not it's not Randy either? Do you even remember what your real name is?

[Because Erwin is getting pretty close to just giving him a nickname and calling them that forever.]

[But at least Not-Randy has turned away in a huff, and Erwin looks over to Glenn the shop keeper, shrugging his shoulders and shaking his head. Yeah, he knows, that guy is a mess.]

[undiagnosed]

I never told you it was Ray! You just assumed that! [he shoots back, genuine confusion in his tone for a moment.] It's Archer, okay? Jesus Christ. How stupid are you?

[glenn, fortunately, doesn't seem very shaken by this experience. guess being a robbie makes working in retail that bit easier.]

[13thcommander]

[Speaking from personal experience, being a Robbie does make Ray/Randy/apparently Archer easier to deal with. Glenn is back to a typical Robbie grin, and tries to offer Erwin a blender.]

No, thank you. But stay close, I'm here for some film. 35 mm, please.

[Glenn is only too happy to hustle off to find Erwin's film, and Erwin can turn his attention back to Archer.]

You're the one giving false names out and then failing to keep track of who you told which name.

[For the time being, Erwin is going to assume that Archer is another alias.]

[undiagnosed]

I told you Randy! I know how to keep track of false identities! You're the one that thought I was Ray, dumbass! [he pokes erwin in the ankle with his cane like a truly cantankerous old man, then stops for a moment, frowning.] You don't--

[he narrows his eyes.]

So, hey, total tangent. When you were doing my shoveling for me, did you talk to someone native to this shithole first?

[13thcommander]

I must have heard you incorrectly.

[That, or Archer riled up Erwin enough at the gala that he didn't get his name completely.]

[Erwin is eyeing that cane, and idly wondering who would win in a fight between a one-armed man and a man with a bad leg, but Archer's question arrests that little fantasy in a hurry. He swallows, and a look of pure embarrassment crosses his face.]

Ah. That. No, I hadn't spoken to a local, but I had fallen in the lake. I wasn't myself, and I apologize if I said or did anything upsetting.

323 Midwich Street; (is it a housecall if you live there?)

[feudalladyshandmaid]

Have you ever heard of a "Wham-o bird"?

[Oh so casually brought up over a morning coffee. Cass barely looking up from the newspaper she was skimming for interesting things to cut out of it with a sharpened butter knife.]

breakfast call?

[13thcommander]

["We have scissors," is what Erwin would be saying, if he didn't appreciate Cassandra's skills with sharpening dull, ridiculous knives into functional ones. He's a man who can appreciate a good blade, seeing as he used to use three foot long titan killing blades to shave occasionally.]

I have not.

[Erwin looks up from his own coffee, curious at the question.]

What is it?

Sure, let's go with that.

[feudalladyshandmaid]

[Erwin can hardly be blamed for having taste, or common sense, in Cassandra's mind. After all, a dull blade was a useless blade. One of those wasn't going to save you if someone kicked in the front door. Plus, they were selling sharpening blocks a week back and, hey, a deal is a deal.]

Some little flying toy shaped like a bird. They have them down at the big indoor market.

[Rolling her shoulders. Who was she to care when she had a real, living bird friend?]

Falco was looking at it.

[13thcommander]

[The more sharp knives they have around the place, the better, as far as Erwin is concerned. While the whole husband-wife thing still feels rather odd, at least he and Cassandra are on the same page about most things, including their complete disinterest in sharing a marital bed.]

Oh? Did he mention it to you?

[They also, apparently, share a concern for their sudden son, and Erwin sets his coffee mug down.]

The boy has never seemed very interested in toys.

[feudalladyshandmaid]

[You can never have enough knives!! So says Cassandra.]

He did, yeah.

[They most definitely were not a typical couple... or really, a couple at all. Just the idea of having a husband still felt strange to Cass... Not particularly helped by the fact that Erwin shared the same age-range as her father. But they had a clear understanding, and the same interests in mind.

Interests that seemed to include their new son.]

Seemed pretty interested in that one. He went to look at it himself and everything. Not sure why you'd want something fake like that when I've got my own little flying buddy.

[Owl, who only occasionally chose to stay indoors with the family. There was a joke here, somewhere, about Falco getting his mother's love of birds.]

[13thcommander]

[Roommates would be a more accurate term for them, really. But they get along well enough, and are able to play the part of spouses for the town's various get-togethers, so it works out.]

Ah yes, Owl.

[Whose introduction to the family had startled Erwin terribly, the first time he flew into the house like he owned the place. It's fortunate for all of them that Cassandra had been home, and able to explain the sudden presence of a bird in the kitchen.]

Does Owl spend any time with Falco? He only seems interested in being around you.

[Or maybe that's just Erwin's bias, as he still views Owl with suspicion.]

[OOC: I'm just having fun imagining Erwin fending off an owl with a coffee cup while wearing his slippers and bathrobe; if you think their first meeting would have gone differently, please let me know and I'll change this.]

[feudalladyshandmaid]

[Sorry, Erwin!!! She would have tried to get back home sooner if she'd know that Owl would just pop in unannounced to an empty house, save for the one person she hadn't told about Owl yet.]

Yup.

[The lightest of smirks graces Cassandra's lips. It doesn't matter who you are, watching a man fend off a bird of prey in his slippers and with a coup of coffee in his hand was just... It was really funny.]

He spends a little time with him. Don't worry, Owl's harmless! And he wouldn't let anything happen to the little guy.

[13thcommander]

[Because Erwin is a gentleman, he's going to ignore that smirk. That, and because it had been pretty funny, now that he can look back on it without the sudden panic of having a bird of prey in the kitchen.]

That's good, I suppose. After recent events, the child can use all the watchful eyes on him that he can get.

[Falco's tough, but there has to be a limit!]

Anyway, this wham-o-bird. Do you think he'd like it if we got him one?