Inbox, We're Still Here

[13thcommander]

"Hello, this is Erwin Smith. I'm unavailable at the moment; please leave a message and I will contact you as soon as I'm able."


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Comments

[undiagnosed]

[in the span of the three seconds erwin looks away, archer goes through... something interesting. back home, he sees his daughter for the first time since he woke up, finally, and helps save her from a kidnapping. he finds out she doesn't really know of his role in her life-- too young to remember the times they had when she was a baby. then he goes to antarctica and attempts to solve a murder mystery that wasn't at all what it seemed and saves the world from the machinations of an evil billionaire.

espionage is like that.

the thing is, he had to strip down and dive into the freezing artic. when he's back, he's soaked, half frozen and delirious from almost drowning again along with the possible acceptance of the fact he actually is, finally, awake.

he drops his cane with a clatter (not sure how he still has that, he's certain he wrecked it in the artic to stop a snowmobile) and takes this sudden update very well.

that's a lie.

he shrieks.]

[13thcommander]

There was only one building that had lights, that's why I went into it!

[How does Archer manage it? How? How can he possibly be this... like this? Erwin is about to retort when Glenn comes back, cheerfully announcing that he has Erwin's film, and Erwin is going to leave it at that, is going to just buy his film and go home, when Archer starts screaming.]

[Erwin whirls back around, instinctively raising his arm defensively, and things have changed in those few seconds he was paying attention to Glenn. Archer has somehow managed to strip down, get soaking wet, and get wild-eyed and shrieking in the space of time that shouldn't allow for any of that. Erwin takes a step back, and even from this distance, he can feel the cold billowing off Archer, a deep artic bite that's worse than the cold currently blanketing Santa Rosita.]

Archer?

[Without even thinking about it, Erwin is starting to take his scarf off, and approach.]

Archer, what happened?

[undiagnosed]

I don't know! I don't fucking know! [he is, mercifully, not completely nude; he still has his boxers on. archer scrabbles forward, grabbing the scarf out of erwin's hands and wraps his hands up in it. he's freezing, moreso than when he got shoved into the lake.] Fucking-- coat! Give me your coat!

[people are starting to stare. he would like to cover up and leave, thank you! being mostly naked and screaming in a mall has never ended well for him.]

[13thcommander]

[Erwin has never been mostly naked and screaming in a mall before, but he can't imagine it's a good time. He quickly sheds his coat and tries to awkwardly get it around Archer's shoulders, but he only has one hand to keep it in place while he gets the second shoulder, and Archer is shivering so hard it keeps sliding off.]

Come with me, you're going to catch your death if we stay here.

[Glenn is watching all this with a vaguely puzzled expression.]

Glenn! Where are the heaters?

[He points in one direction, and Erwin starts trying to hustle Archer that way.]

[undiagnosed]

Oh my god, it's just like Terminator! [he groans out as he pulls the coat around his shoulders-- he's able to bring himself under control. it's fine. he's fine. shit. is he going to die from that dive right now? how did the shockwave from the explosion not liquefy-- you know what? he's not going to think about it. never has, never will.] You're a bitch, Glenn.

[despite being helped, he still shoots that out as he's motioned past.]

Hey, I think I'm gonna stress-black out. Or die. I'm actually not sure which.

[13thcommander]

[Erwin has no idea what a Terminator is, but it sounds serious. Although if Archer is still lively enough to insult Glenn, he's probably not in imminent danger of dying. At least, not immediately.]

Get your arm around my shoulders, then. It'll take longer for me to get you to the heaters if I have to drag you by the legs.

[If Archer has his arm around Erwin's shoulders and blacks out, Erwin can grab his hand to keep him up and pull him the rest of the way there. If he blacks out and collapses, this is going to get a lot harder.]

You didn't finish shoveling the snow.

[undiagnosed]

[he seems to need the support more than he's willing to let on; his bad leg is almost taking no weight at all despite him still using his cane. the cold made the damage lock it all up, leaving it basically half-dragging along behind him. same happened when he was teleported into the lake outside the village.]

You're not doing so bad for a one-armed bandit... [jesus. he's out of it enough he's actually almost being decent.] I got bored. Other stuff came up. Didn't feel like it. Too cold. Pick an excuse.

[13thcommander]

You should see me handle a horse, or my ODM gear.

[Really, dragging Archer around isn't that difficult, although Erwin would rather have him helping than being a limp, dead weight. They're leaving a trail of puddles behind them through the store, and Erwin is starting to get the shivers from having Archer so close to him.]

You had no intention of doing more shoveling, did you?

[The way Erwin says it is almost gentle, not accusatory. If Archer can be decent, so can he.]

cw emeto mention

[undiagnosed]

[original design manufacturer gear? okay, weirdo. too tired to give that proper thought. he's really giving it his best attempt to actually be useful while he's dragged along, to... vary degrees of success per step.]

I don't think the shoveling matters right now, [he snaps, even though at the back of his mind he knows why erwin is bringing it up-- he's done the same. you needle someone about something when they're fucked up to keep them talking. when they finally get to the heaters, archer just flops over bonelessly onto the ground.] They better not call the cops on me again... I'm fine! Just... testing them! Really well!

[he exhales, pressing a hand to his face. which... he can't feel. that's not good. his skin's sheet white.]

I'm gonna have to work out how to puke up all the water inside me.

[13thcommander]

Let's get you warmed up before you start worrying about vomiting.

[Erwin is pretty sure once Archer is warm, the puke is going to happen regardless, but he's no field medic so he might be wrong.]

Curl up into a ball, please.

[Why? So Erwin can start moving the heaters around, making a ring around Archer with their glowing orange coils turned towards him. When a vacantly smiling worker comes over to investigate, Erwin waves her away.]

No, it's fine, my friend and I are just testing them out. Can you go get us some towels and blankets, please, Susan? We'd like to test them out too. Oh, and some thick, heavy men's socks. Thank you.

[undiagnosed]

No. [he says, grabbing one of the smaller heaters and standing up with it. to susan:] You guys need to get portable ones, you know. These are-- I mean, where am I gonna plug this in in the street? Think about it. Maybe invent it yourself. Make a buck. Cut me in.

[he falls silent for a long few moments after he finishes saying all those stupid shitty weird words, rubbing his temple, trying not to black out or fall over.]

I was-- I didn't go into the lake again, [he starts, finally.] It was a mission back home.

[13thcommander]

You'll get warmer faster if you're sitting down, close to their faces.

[But okay, sure, if Archer wants to stand up, Erwin isn't going to shove him down. When Susan comes back--she appears completely nonplussed about Archer's business idea--Erwin takes her offerings and dumps them at Archer's feet. He drapes a heavy blanket over Archer's shoulders and a towel on his head, so he can dry his hair. Erwin is ripping open the bag of socks and getting ready to shove a pair over Archer's hands when what he's saying clicks, and Erwin pauses.]

You went back home? It was like you weren't even gone here.

[undiagnosed]

I could also strip down and start screaming about aliens reading my mind. I think this is humiliating enough, thanks.

[if he's going to say anything else, he's cut off by a towel being dumped on his head and socks being pushed into-- no, onto his hands.]

Yeah, so I guess I finally lost my mind. [he looks down at his sock hands.] ...This tracks.

[though imagining it doesn't explain how he got soaked and freezing.]

[13thcommander]

If you did, so did I.

[Which is, considering their last interaction, probably not as reassuring as Erwin would like it to be. He takes a second pair of socks and drops down to one knee, nudging Archer's calf with his shoulder so he'll pick up his foot.]

You were there one second, I turned to talk to Glenn, and then you started screaming. I turned around, and you were practically naked and soaking wet.

I didn't see it happen, Archer, but you're not crazy. Something out of the ordinary definitely happened today.

[undiagnosed]

[he complies, but only because he doesn't want to lose any toes. could he still lose toes? no idea. archer sniffs, looking away for a moment. erwin's gone and in a burst of RGB static, barry's there instead. the hallucination shows up and shocks him enough that he pulls back suddenly, a flicker of confused fear crossing his expression that quickly turns into a scowl.]

I almost drowned. Again. [his expression twists.] I really gotta stop doing that.

cw implied ptsd

[13thcommander]

[Erwin manages to get the socks on before Archer pulls away, and he looks up in surprise. He's been doing nothing but being helpful here, and he thought that even Archer would understand and appreciate that, and not be deliberately difficult. But then he sees that look cross Archer's face, and Erwin sits back on his heels, letting his hand drop to his knee in plain sight, and stays very still.]

It's not a pleasant experience, is it?

[Erwin keeps his tone low and conversational.]

Are you starting to warm up at all? You might want to use that towel on your hair, so it doesn't drip water down your back.

cw definitely referenced ptsd

[undiagnosed]

I'm used to it, [he shoots back irritably, like this is the first hardship he's suffered, like the implication is he doesn't know what living with severe PTSD is like. god, and when was the last time he made it through a day sober? this is getting close to That, seeing as the shock of the water sobered him up right quick from all those picklebacks he'd drunk before.

archer looks away for a moment, brows pinched. he doesn't often admit to himself how fucked up and miserable he is. he hates it.] I'm going to do it because I want to, not because you told me to.

[that's as close as a "yes, thank you" he'll get, while archer busies himself doing exactly that.]

cw definitely referenced ptsd and barfing

[13thcommander]

I don't think anyone ever gets used to it.

[Does Archer see a mountain of corpses every time he goes to sleep? Everyone who fell in pursuit of his dreams? Erwin hasn't taken to drinking; his own torture is of a more personal nature, involving constant mental flagellation over all the sacrifices everyone else had to make for him. The worst part is, they did it willingly, and Erwin still isn't sure of the reason why.]

[Once Archer is drying his hair off, Erwin slowly stands up and starts nudging the heaters closer to his legs. It's gotten nice and toasty in the little ring where they're standing, enough that Erwin is starting to sweat.]

Susan? Susan, are you still around?

[Why yes, yes she is! Erwin dispatches her to go find some dry clothes for Archer, preferably something warm and insulating.]

Do you still feel like you need to vomit?

just two healthy young men (cw mild suicidal ideaology)

[undiagnosed]

I did.

[it comes out as a cool, cold snap. archer's different from everyone else. he can cope. what kind of a pussy couldn't? he doesn't have regrets. he doesn't drink so much because he doesn't give a shit if he doesn't wake up the next day. he didn't jump in after the sub and almost willingly let himself drown, rather than deal with the nightmare he thinks he was stuck in.

he doesn't. he's fine.]

Uh, yeah, duh. [he starts moving the heaters back. he's not so cold now he feels like his muscles are seizing up, though he's still not great. archer figure he's been humiliated enough.] ...I'll pay you back.

[that's as close to thank you as he'll get.]

adult men dealing with their feelings like adults (cw mild suicidal ideaology)

[13thcommander]

Then you're a better man than I am.

[Erwin is certain Archer is lying, but he's not going to push the issue. He doesn't talk about his own issues, so he's not going to expect Archer to be forthright with his own.]

Do you want help getting home? I don't want Rapunzel to worry about you.

[Erwin has made the connection that Archer is Rapunzel's husband, and he'd make a comment about Cassandra's friend's taste if he didn't know marriages are assigned. He doesn't mention the money--he's doing all right, with his job at the high school back in the 60s when teachers made BANK, and it won't be a financial burden to pay for Archer's new clothes. Come to think of it, Erwin is going to need a new coat, too, since his is all wet now.]

[undiagnosed]

Obviously, [he shoots back, though there's not as much confidence behind that statement as there might usually be. it's a little hard to stay so egotistical right now, you know? his mind flies back to lana, the mother of his child, telling him outright she wished he'd never woken up, and the awful sting that came with it.

she was angry. archer hates himself for letting it get to him, for even bothering to wonder if she ever loved him in the first place.] No, 'm fine. Ugh. She doesn't-- just don't tell her.

[13thcommander]

Obviously.

[Now this, this is fascinating. Is this a crack in Archer's armor? Erwin's eyes brighten, and he's paying closer attention than he was a moment before.]

I won't tell her. Now, did you drive here or take the bus? Whether I escort you home or not, you aren't going to try and walk it.

[Does Archer actually care about Rapunzel?]

[undiagnosed]

Drive, [he says, trying to stand and cursing that even with the support of his cane, his bad leg is still too... he's not sure. tense? god, this better not have made his nerve damage fucking worse. that would be just his luck. a bolt of pain shoots right up his thigh and into his back when he tries to put weight on it, making him almost cry out.] Fucking-- I'll get a cab back. Shit.

[no way he can drive like this. his head is still pounding, vision swimming, he's still seeing things in the corner of his vision that he knows aren't there, and he doesn't know if it's because of almost dying or because he's losing his mind or both.]

[13thcommander]

[When Erwin sees that Archer is about to buckle, he takes a few steps closer, lifting his arm so Archer can grab it if he needs to. If he'd rather faceplant than grab onto Erwin, that's his voice too.]

What kind of car do you have? If it's an automatic transmission, I can drive you home.

[Erwin walked here, so he won't be leaving a car behind, and he's very proud of his newly acquired driving skills.]

And, ah... if you still have the keys.

[Or are they at the bottom of the ocean, somewhere in another world?]

[undiagnosed]

Manual, jackass. [he groans that out, gritting his teeth against the pain. for some reason, he feels like if erwin sees him cry out in pain or show any weakness then erwin wins. wins what, he's not sure, but that's how it's always been. how he was raised.] I... don't know. I can hotwire it.

[he's not sure where anything ended up, to be honest. he uses erwin to stabilise himself, leaning far too heavily on him.]