Reiner offers no resistance to the steering, letting himself be maneuvered to the couch where he takes a seat. The tears are running freely now, Inferna having helped make Bertolt's death as fresh as the day it happened. It hurts. It hurts, it hurts, and there's nothing Reiner can do to staunch the bleeding in his heart.
Not that he would want to. He knows what it is to have it stopped now. He would rather live with this pain forever than forget what happened to his partner.
In another life, Reiner might not have to tell Erwin about Bertolt. Erwin might know, just as Reiner knows things about his predecessor. Were that the case … Erwin's hunch is right: Reiner wouldn't be able to talk to him. But this isn't that reality. Here, Erwin knows only what he says—and what he says is enough to drag a small, tearful smile from Reiner.
"He was. Intimidated, I mean. He was shy, and strong, and more talented than he ever realized. He always wanted me to do the talking. But he was brilliant. He'd listen so carefully, and he'd figure stuff out way before anyone else."
He takes a deep, shuddering breath.
"He held so much power in him. Can you imagine how much strength it took to contain it? He thought he was weak-willed, but he was stronger than anyone I knew. He just… He didn't really show it until I…"
Until I almost died, he can't quite say.
His voice drops as he adds, "He'd sleep in the strangest positions. It's one of the only times he'd really relax."
Erwin would be lying if he said he's never thought about how things would be different if he had been the one to gain control of the Colossal Titan. It has crossed his mind more than once. He's not sure they would have necessarily turned out better, but they would have been very, very different.
Now, though, he's glad that he wasn't saved that day. He's glad that he is someone Reiner can turn to with this pain, and that he can be a shoulder to cry on, both literally and figuratively. He couldn't have done this back home; then, these talks tended to fall on Levi or Mike's shoulders, someone who could be down in the field with the troops.
"It's funny, isn't it? He was intimidated by me, when he had to power to squash me like a bug, had he so chosen." That Reiner had that power too, and had had more than one opportunity to do so and didn't, goes unspoken.
"I saw that, though. The way he used the gear was like someone much older, with more experience. Someone as tall and heavy as he was should have had more difficulty with it, but he used it like he'd been born wearing it."
Erwin hears himself talking, and realises how little that sums up the young man. It's all he has, though, and unless Bertolt shows up here, all he'll ever have.
"I can't imagine trying to contain that power. I can't imagine having it, and having the strength of will not to use it." Which is why Erwin knows it's probably for the best that he didn't become the Colossal Titan.
The shift in tone makes him smile, a little. "Did he? What did they look like?"
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2025-07-06 08:46 pm (UTC)Not that he would want to. He knows what it is to have it stopped now. He would rather live with this pain forever than forget what happened to his partner.
In another life, Reiner might not have to tell Erwin about Bertolt. Erwin might know, just as Reiner knows things about his predecessor. Were that the case … Erwin's hunch is right: Reiner wouldn't be able to talk to him. But this isn't that reality. Here, Erwin knows only what he says—and what he says is enough to drag a small, tearful smile from Reiner.
"He was. Intimidated, I mean. He was shy, and strong, and more talented than he ever realized. He always wanted me to do the talking. But he was brilliant. He'd listen so carefully, and he'd figure stuff out way before anyone else."
He takes a deep, shuddering breath.
"He held so much power in him. Can you imagine how much strength it took to contain it? He thought he was weak-willed, but he was stronger than anyone I knew. He just… He didn't really show it until I…"
Until I almost died, he can't quite say.
His voice drops as he adds, "He'd sleep in the strangest positions. It's one of the only times he'd really relax."
no subject
Date: 2025-07-06 09:14 pm (UTC)Now, though, he's glad that he wasn't saved that day. He's glad that he is someone Reiner can turn to with this pain, and that he can be a shoulder to cry on, both literally and figuratively. He couldn't have done this back home; then, these talks tended to fall on Levi or Mike's shoulders, someone who could be down in the field with the troops.
"It's funny, isn't it? He was intimidated by me, when he had to power to squash me like a bug, had he so chosen." That Reiner had that power too, and had had more than one opportunity to do so and didn't, goes unspoken.
"I saw that, though. The way he used the gear was like someone much older, with more experience. Someone as tall and heavy as he was should have had more difficulty with it, but he used it like he'd been born wearing it."
Erwin hears himself talking, and realises how little that sums up the young man. It's all he has, though, and unless Bertolt shows up here, all he'll ever have.
"I can't imagine trying to contain that power. I can't imagine having it, and having the strength of will not to use it." Which is why Erwin knows it's probably for the best that he didn't become the Colossal Titan.
The shift in tone makes him smile, a little. "Did he? What did they look like?"