13thcommander | Labrynthum Inbox

Is he being a hypocrite? Maybe. Erwin had had no way to know what kind of person he was in the underground -- or perhaps he did. The rumor of criminals using military gear would have been reason enough, but Levi wouldn't have been at all surprised if Erwin had tried to dig up as much information about him as he could ahead of time.

Sure, it had been a gamble; there's no way to have predicted that forcing him into the Survey Corps would have gone well, that they all wouldn't have tried to escape at some point if they decided they didn't want to risk their lives fighting titans even after Erwin had foiled their plans. He might have had contingencies, but surely that had always been a potential risk.

Had Erwin known, or had he just guessed that he had a chance of swinging Levi to his cause? It wasn't hard to tell that at least he actually gave a damn about people. And Isabelle...after only a few days she'd already become swept up in the cause. She would have stayed, and they would have stayed with her--

People like that, though? All they have to do is decide that they don't care about anything anymore. Kimbley wouldn't just have Levi up his ass, he'd be dead, as many times over as needed until it stuck - but if he reaches the point where that doesn't matter, then there's no reason for him to hold back.

Still, he has to concede that Erwin does have a point, however, supported by what Kimbley had said himself.

His arms cross unhappily over his chest again, and he's silent for several moments staring at the tea as it bleeds flavor and color into the hot water. In truth there isn't anything he can do about the situation that he hasn't already done. Levi gives a short, agitated sigh and shifts his feet, shaking his head.

"...all right, Erwin."

Acceptance is all he has left. He nudges a mug in his direction with one hand.

"Here."

What Levi doesn't know--what he'll never know, if Erwin has anything to say about it--is how tenuous things were, those first few weeks of his aboveground. Erwin and Mike had a working agreement: if Levi went rogue, they would both have to go after him, and deal with the threat. Farlan and Isabelle weren't such a concern, anyone in the Corps could have dealt with them, but Levi was a special case, who needed special observation and a unique containment plan.

The day after Farlan and Isabelle died, when Erwin was on edge and prepared for an epic throw down with Levi, Mike sought him out. He'd simply squeezed Erwin's shoulder, announced that Levi was on their side, that he smelled trustworthy now, and slouched off. It had been Mike who called off the contingency plan, not Erwin.

So yeah, Erwin has some experience with loose cannons.

He knows Levi doesn't like this, though, and doesn't take the cup right away. He puts his hand back on Levi's back, and this time there's no drumming, no tapping along his spine; it's a simple, soothing caress on that spot between Levi's shoulder blades, where he's always so tightly wound.

"I'm not going to do anything foolish, Levi. I have too much going on here." There are books to read, strange creatures to poke, interesting new foods to eat. And, most of all, there's Levi, and time, and no titans, and Erwin isn't giving up any of that readily. "I promise I'll pull back if I think I'm in any danger."

What else could he have done at that point? Disappeared, perhaps, but he was never a threat to anyone else in the Corps. Erwin had already thwarted him twice over, and without anything to gain from it, there would have been no point in killing him. And so follow him he did; all the way to this.

The hand between his shoulders has the effect it almost always does - his muscles unlock slightly, automatically, and Levi closes his eyes a moment, just soaking in the sensation, in Erwin's presence, trying to let it soothe away all of his worry. It doesn't quite, but...it's enough, for now. It'll have to be.

"...it's not you I'm worried about," he says quietly, and reaches for his own mug. "But I trust you."

That wasn't the answer Erwin was expecting, and he takes a step closer, getting right next to Levi so he can put his arm around Levi's waist, his chest up against Levi's back. Erwin knows he's about the only person alive that can crowd Levi like this and not get his head torn off, and he's absolutely going to abuse that husbandly power when Levi is upset.

"So what's got you worked up?" If Levi isn't worried about Erwin, then what's the problem? He's obviously not worried about Erwin hurting Kimbley, so what is it?

The first few heartbeats have him tensing reflexively at the confinement; being this close this casually is still new in many respects, and being held from behind without warning has the potential to set off his fighting response - but this is Erwin, who has been with him here, who always touches him with care and sincerity, and it's easy to push those instincts away and settle back into the embrace. Levi allows himself to sink a little against the sturdy warmth of that broad chest, lets his head tilt back to gently rest nearly above where Erwin's heart would be and just closes his eyes.

The arm around him is not confining, but secure. Supportive, strong. Levi sets his left hand to that forearm, tracing slowly with his palm until he finds Erwin's hand curled at his waist. The question continues to go unanswered as slender fingers carefully trace the gold band, then slide into the space between to twine and lock together, holding them in place.

Like this, he can easily imagine what it would be like for Erwin to have both arms wrapped around him; fully engulfed, like drowning but in the best way. Levi doesn't lament or wish for it so much as wonder. He is happy with this, which is already more than he could have ever really imagined having. How could he possibly fathom thinking it's not enough?

He sighs a little, more of a slow exhale.

"...too many unknowns, here." He says finally. "Weirdass people, weirdass monsters...weirdass magic...feels like I don't know where I'm supposed to be looking."

Erwin can imagine it too, what it would be like to hold Levi with two arms. Stupid, that they've known each other for so long, but it was only after Erwin lost his arm that they started doing this. So many chances lost, never to be regained. He might end up with a prosthetic of some kind here, but it won't be the same. It won't be the same at all.

Still, he holds Levi as best he can, and when Levi leans back against his chest and then takes his hand, Erwin feels a little better. He owes it to Levi to be more careful, to not stress him out with his wild antics; it's just unfortunate that Erwin's definition of wild antics is much wilder than the typical person's.

"I know." Things are definitely weird as hell here, and it's clearly getting to Levi more than Erwin. Erwin has been embracing the weirdness, because what else is he supposed to do? This is all he has left, all the life he'll get to live, and he'd be a fool to not take advantage of it. But it isn't that way for Levi, and it's hard to turn down the heightened sense of danger they'd lived with for so long back home. "I wish I had an answer for you."

At least back home the dangers were familiar. Titans are nasty, but they don't try to take over anyone's minds.

It's hardly that he's unaccustomed to the intensity of Erwin's risk-taking; the man has gambled with his own life more times than Levi particularly cares to count, and between having his arm bitten off and still managing to save Eren before passing out as well as staging a bloodless coups to overthrow a false king only weeks later, to outright refuse to stay behind on what is most likely to mean certain death, it's a particular kind of stress he's well acquainted with.

The point is that the only thing he really can trust here is Erwin. To trust what he says, trust his judgment, trust that he understands the risks even if he's going to take them anyway. Perhaps that had been Levi's biggest source of anxiety in the moment, that he just needed reassurance and acknowledgment that he's read the situation correctly, that they're on the same page of understanding. But short of someone being an active threat, it's not as though Levi can demand certain behaviors from either Erwin or Kimbley or anyone else.

Everything is different here. He's adapted, because he's had to. Some things are better, some strange shit is routine now, other stuff he's written off as not worth the bother to try to puzzle out, can be someone else's problem. But something is under his skin, distant but constant, and not sharp or formed enough that he can pinpoint it well enough or long enough to do anything about.

This helps, though. Erwin helps. And so Levi just tries to focus on what he can feel and hear and let everything else evaporate, even if just for a little while.

"It's all right," he mutters, not making any motions to move but squeezing Erwin's hand briefly. "I'll be fine so long as you stay in one piece."

"Don't worry about that." Erwin squeezes Levi's hand back, then drops a kiss down onto the top of his head. "I'm running out of body parts to spare. I have to keep a closer watch on the ones I have left."

Aw yeah, reassurance. Nailed it.

That kiss sends a tingling warmth down all through him, starting from the spot of contact and collecting like a well in his chest before unfurling all throughout his limbs to his fingertips and toes.

He'll do anything to prevent losing more of Erwin; physically or mentally, or entirely. Perhaps here he'll finally be able to do more than be good enough just to survive, he'll actually be able to protect someone important to him. Past events haven't completely supported that idea, but he's better prepared, now.

Hopefully, anyway.

Levi presses back into Erwin minutely before muttering in a tone that sounds closer to a threat than affection: "Yeah, you'd better. If something happens to this hand we have to move closer to the ground. I'll wipe your ass for you but I'm not hauling it up and down a ladder every day."

Erwin is going to try very hard, for Levi's sake, to not lose any more of himself. Losing other physical parts is the least of his worries; he's terrified that something will happen to his mind again, and he won't be able to find his way back. Would Levi still love him if he were armless? Legless? Probably, but expecting to be loved when his mind is gone? Erwin couldn't ask that of Levi or anyone else.

He needs to keep himself together. He needs to keep pushing forward, to not let the darkness overtake him, and to be here and present.

Erwin snorts laughter into Levi's hair at his response. "That's reasonable. I'm too heavy to drag up and down a vertical drop. Asking someone to do that every day would be unfair."

He lowers his head, nosing the hair near Levi's ear out of the way so he can press another soft kiss behind it. "Are you feeling better now? Or do you want to work out the logistics of future ass wiping first?"

Levi would love Erwin no matter what befell him. And he'll fight until his own last breath to keep him safe.

The sensation of breath in his hair makes him shift, but if anything, he's just snuggling back even more into Erwin's chest.

"I could manage. It'd be easier for you, though."

Pressed this close, there's no hiding the way that kiss sends a shiver down his spine, forces him into inhale softly against the unexpected wave of pleasant tingles it sends through his limbs. His pulse may have jumped a heartbeat or two.

Levi tilts his chin upward with implicit permission for more, eyes falling closed as he just tries to let go of everything else. There's still knots bound up in his shoulders, because when are there not? But much more of the tension seems to melt away in the following moments.

"Hmm," he sighs, because while 'better' isn't quite the word he would use, he's at least not so wound up anymore. "S'pose we can figure that out later."

With his free hand, Levi reaches up to slide fingers over the soft, short hair at the back of Erwin's neck, gently holding him in place for a moment to turn and nuzzle appreciatively at his cheek in silent thanks. His lips brush at the corners of the man that's wrapped him in his arm - his husband - but only briefly, so as not to prolong the awkward, surely uncomfortable angle more than necessary. But he needed a little self indulgent moment.

Erwin is pretty glad Levi is turning his neck for more kisses, and choosing to let the ass wiping question go unanswered for now. They could get into it, sure, but Erwin would like to think he'll be able to manage such things on his own for at least a little while longer.

With Levi's head turned, Erwin is able to trail kisses down the side of his neck, from just behind the jut of his jawbone to along the taut tendon that turned his head. Levi smells different here, a certain wild, iron-y musk wafting up from under the usual smell of soap and clean skin. Erwin likes it, likes how it's so unmistakably Levi, and how he's the only one allowed to get close enough to know it's there.

Levi's little twisting motion just lets Erwin get close enough to mouth Levi's collarbone, but he doesn't hold it long enough for Erwin to really kiss him. It's probably for the best; the angle is starting to get awkward for both of them. When Levi twists out of it, though, Erwin loosens his arm slightly and steps back, but only so he can try to get Levi to turn around. Chest-to-back is good and all, but chest-to-chest is better, and Erwin's aim will be a lot better if Levi is facing him.

Soft lips against that line of his throat are, he's realized, very nice. His eyes flutter shut, and his chest swells and lips part to pull in a full gasp of breath as warmth tingles through his limbs and kicks his heartbeat a little faster. Levi feels himself arch, his fingers tightening against whatever part of Erwin he can touch, and he feels as though he could just burst into little particles of light and sink into him, all the way into his heart and stay there forever.

But then Erwin is releasing him, just a little - just enough to turn, which is good, because now Levi wants a real kiss. Or two. Or three. Or as many as he can get.

All thoughts of tea are completely abandoned as he turns in the protective, safe circle of Erwin's arm, reaching to cup his face. For several heartbeats, Levi just holds them both there, staring quietly into blue eyes that remind him of a clear, spring day, and vows softly:

"I will never let anything happen to you."

And then, raising up onto his toes, sets their lips together.

Edited 2023-10-10 16:27 (UTC)

Being able to make Levi forget about freshly brewed tea is a new and heady power. Erwin isn't sure he's ready for the responsibility.

"I know you won't." It won't always be Levi's decision, not back home, but here? Here, Erwin can give Levi that. Here, he can be cautious and safe and not aggravate Levi too much; he'll aggravate him a little, or otherwise he wouldn't be Erwin Smith, but it'll be comparatively small potatoes. Making friends with Kimbley feels much safer than charging headlong at abnormal titans.

Erwin bends down to kiss Levi back, but since they're in the kitchen and near the counter, he has a plan to fix it. Erwin stoops down and loops his arm around Levi's thighs before tightening his hold and straightening up. If Levi doesn't wiggle free, Erwin will be able to put him on the kitchen counter, making them the same height. Better kissing for everyone!

It's not something he could have allowed himself before; there were always risks, always things that Erwin would want him to prioritize over his life. Those were the decisions they understood and trusted one another to make. But that fight doesn't exist here, and so neither do those necessary sacrifices. Here, he can keep Erwin safe. Or try to, at least. So far he's done an abominable job of it when it matters most.

Par for the course, really. But it doesn't have to be.

There's a faint noise of confusion and surprise when Erwin bends down and then lifts him to the counter, his hands going to broad shoulders to steady himself as his feet leave the floor. For some reason, that sets his heart beating faster once again, especially feeling the strength in him, the strong grip against his thigh. Levi has always known that Erwin is strong - the man had held his own that first day they met, after all - but so rarely has it ever been used on him.

He huffs in an obligatory protest - ass on the counter, really? - but can't argue with the results. Winding fingers into Erwin's shirt collar, he tugs him close, knees to either side of hips.

"You been working out when I'm not looking, Blondie?"

You're wearing pants, Levi, c'mon now! Unless you've been sitting in gross stuff, the counter will be fine. The whole thing is made to be wiped off and cleaned regularly.

Erwin chuckles softly at Levi's question. A huge part of his identity, ever since he was twelve years old and joined the Cadet Corps, has been his strength; he's always tried to project the image of being powerful, a sentinel against the horrors behind the walls. Losing his arm had shattered that view, made him frighteningly mortal for the first time, and Erwin has, privately, been grappling with that. Or at least he hopes his struggles have been private. If anyone was going to notice, it would be Levi.

"Climbing the ladder everyday helps." Lifting Levi had really been more in Erwin's core and legs than his arm, but he'll take the compliment. He winds his arm around Levi's waist and presses in close against him, his mouth back on Levi's neck.

It's the principle of it all-- but since he trusts himself to keep both it and his own ass clean, he's not actually complaining.

Of course he had noticed - had tried to provide quiet support where he could without stepping over Erwin's confidence. Over time he had become more self sufficient. The man had been prepared to go riding out on a horse and use the 3DMG single handedly, despite Levi trying to convince him not to because survival was difficult enough with both arms. As far as he was concerned, Erwin as a symbol had never diminished. Even when they had finally been reunited after the successful coups, when Erwin had been bound and beaten before triumphing, he had stood tall and proud.

For Levi, he always would.

"Yeah..." Is all he can think to say, because then Erwin is close again, and that's all he wants right now. His eyes drift shut as his chin tilts upward to bare more of his throat, trusting and pleased, his lips parted slightly to sigh out pleasant little breaths or pull in sharp inhales, depending on the sensation. It all sends warm, lovely little tendrils of electricity into his chest, as though carried through the pulse in his throat down to his heart.

One hand finds its way to settle at the back of Erwin's neck, fingernails scraping lightly against his scalp and fingertips rubbing at the soft hair of his undercut. Finally Levi noses him back long enough to take some kisses of his own, sliding their mouths together hotly. He feels warm, a flush spreading through his body, and everything else vanishes but for the man twined with him.

Is Erwin accidentally using his electricity powers on Levi right now, sending tiny little bolts from his lips into Levi's neck? He doesn't think he is, but with how weird everything in this has become, who knows? Maybe there's really some electricity going back and forth between them.

Erwin presses in against the kitchen counter, the ledge digging in just under his hips. He's no virgin, but this is something different, something he's never had before; most of his sexual experience has been brief, quick fumblings behind barns or up in trees over the walls. He's never had the chance to slow down and truly experience a partner before. Some of that is his own fault; when he lived life like he could die any day, it hadn't been fair to his partners to let any emotional connection develop, and Erwin wasn't above visiting brothels when the urge struck him. He was always polite and tipped handsomely, especially when he paid for the kind of things he couldn't imagine asking a partner to do to him. Maybe, with enough time and effort, he'll learn how to ask for those things with Levi.

Levi's mouth is hot and eager under his, and Erwin groans softly as he presses closer to him. Almost without Erwin's knowledge, he's been getting an erection, and the shift forward presses his cock against Levi's thigh.

Nearly everything they do is new to Levi - on a practical level, at least. He's long been well aware of the mechanics and consequences of sex, of the play of power and the physical reality of it. Some of his earliest memories are of hiding in a cupboard as his mother worked, being a good little boy and staying quiet for her. He didn't understand what much of what he'd overheard and seen meant until he was older, though not by much.

It's difficult to say if his aversion to most touch was because of it or just exacerbated by the things that he witnessed nearly daily in the underground. Abuse and coercion were rampant, but it was not always so. He knew plenty about what it all meant by the time he entered his teenage years, but never once felt a real desire to do anything with anyone, to touch or be touched by anyone else, especially not like that, or like this, or like anything. One or two tried, and left disappointed, if not outright terrified and were never seen again.

Later, he'd considered Farlan, once. All right - more than once, but after their first and only kiss, Levi hadn't known at all what to do, had disappeared for two days and by the time he returned, Farlan had understandably taken that for his answer and never asked about it again. After that, Levi had had no fucking clue what to do, too embarrassed to broach the topic let alone ask for anything else, and eventually whatever that could have been settled into the closest friendship he'd ever had until that time.

But then he was gone.

...and then there was Erwin.

Even after several weeks since that day in the labyrinth, they've been so wholly content to just be close, to curl up together, to kiss and hold and breathe in. And perhaps lately, Levi's began to wonder, to notice more, all the things about Erwin that he's never not thought about before, but could far more easily set aside when it seemed it would never amount to anything. Erwin is tall and strong and handsome and just so fucking unbearably attractive, it's just as well that it's easy to shut down that part of himself, because how else could he have been expected to function with those eyes and that chest and those thighs just walking around?

Fuck.

So he's thought about it, but thinking and doing are two far different experiences, and so often whenever they're close Levi just finds himself soothed rather than aroused, sinking into Erwin's solid, reassuring presence and finding solace in the beat of his heart.

That's all true still even now, but in this particular moment, want seems to tingle at his fingertips, and perhaps could even eventually travel to lower, needier places.

Which is all to say that it takes him a moment, but then he's fully aware of just what is pressing against his leg. That little groan had likewise done something to him, shivering along his spine and making him lean more into the kiss. He's not quite sure what to do yet - of if even Erwin is aware of just how obvious he is yet (and fuck, he's huge, right? he has to be. Levi's caught brief glimpses of him flaccid, and he can't even begin to imagine what that looks like fully erect--)

Levi feels his toes flex, his thighs tense around the hips between them, and kisses Erwin deeply. Perhaps he's still sorting things out, or just waiting for Erwin's lead here, but if the man somehow doesn't notice after a minute...well then he'll have to say something, won't he?

His right hand is still settled at the back of Erwin's neck, the other smoothing out over his chest and splaying his fingers wide, as though to feel for the pace of his breath and the beating of his heart. Alive. Here. His.

It's one of the weird dichotomies of being Erwin Smith that he's dealt with ever since he hit puberty and shot up six inches over four months: Erwin knows he's physically attractive, but also knows that once people get to know him they shy away. He can't blame them; with his dedication to the Survey Corps and the things he's done in the name of freedom, he understands people wanting to keep their distance. So while he knows he's hot and has used it to his advantage wherever and whenever he's had to, he also knows that it's a mirage, hiding something much uglier underneath.

The wild thing is that Levi knows exactly what's under the attractive veneer--or at least knows it better than anyone else, has seen parts of Erwin he's refused to show anyone else--and likes him anyway. Levi knows he's a monster and still agreed to marry him. Maybe that means Levi is fucked in the head, or that Erwin is the luckiest guy in the world. Maybe both. The point is, Erwin knows he's hot, but he's never felt hot, not until here in the Labyrinth, with Levi curled against him and groping at his chest.

Erwin feels Levi's thighs tightening around his hips, and he involuntarily cants them forward, pressing into Levi's warmth and solidity. When he does, he jabs Levi in the thigh again, and this time it's hard enough that Erwin realises what's going on below his belt.

He goes still, breaking off their kiss and leaning back to look down between them, like he needs a visual cue to really believe what's going on. Yeah, that... that certainly is a thing.

"Huh." He glances back up at Levi, his brows drawn in slightly, his lips pursed. "Didn't realise that soldier was back from leave."

Perhaps it helps that Levi doesn't see Erwin as a monster. He's come to see Erwin as the man he is in the world he exists and the role he's chosen to inhabit. At first he was that lofty, untouchable figure, as brilliant as the sun, too bright to see directly or past, too scorching to get close enough to touch. But after a lifetime in the dark and the damp, he'd been drawn to that sunlight and warmth, and discovered that underneath is just a man who'd broken off pieces off his heart bit by bit just to see something through. Even if it was out of grief or love rather than truly for the sake of humanity, the outcome is the same.

For all that he's tried to cast it off, let others scrape away pieces of it, Erwin Smith is still human, and Levi will hold fast to that for him if need be, for however long he has to.

Because Erwin, too, is worthy of love.

That's always what he wants to show him when they touch, when they kiss, when they're close. That here, especially, he can just be the man he is, rather than the commander everyone expects.

...and yes, that time, it's definitely more noticeable. Levi stills nearly the same time Erwin does, fingers curling in at his shirt. His pulse has jumped a little again, a flush creeping up from his chest toward his throat, but he's still trying to sort out what he wants.

Still, there's a smoldering heat in his eyes when he catches that brief glance. Levi shifts a little on the counter, thighs flexing again as he hooks one ankle around the back of Erwin's leg, just in case he was thinking of going somewhere. The corner of his lip twitches a bit at that comment, though.

"...looks like he's reporting for duty, Commander," he drawls dryly, sliding the hand on Erwin's chest up to join the other, looping both arms loosely around his neck. Fingertips brush through the soft peachfuzz there, almost like he's fidgeting. It's only then that he realizes this is the first time it's happened -- that he knows of, anyway, and from Erwin's comment, it probably is.

"That...uh-...didn't take much."

Levi's leg around him pulls Erwin back towards the counter, and he's quietly relieved; it's not that he expected Levi to be horrified, but he also wasn't entirely sure he'd be thrilled either, and any positive feedback is a good thing. Being called Commander doesn't hurt too. Although Erwin doesn't comment on it, the tips of his ears flush pink at the title getting tossed out in a moment like this.

"So he is." Erwin lets go of Levi long enough to adjust himself, so he's not getting squeezed by either his pants or the kitchen counter, then loops his arm back around Levi's waist.

"No, it... it didn't." This time Erwin flushes in earnest, and glances away. "I haven't... this hasn't happened in awhile. I wasn't sure it would, again."

Depression is killer on the old libido, and between that and losing his arm, Erwin hasn't had an erection in a few months. It's almost funny, how eagerly and readily things came back into action, given the proper impetus.

Levi catches that flush, and there's a pang in his chest when Erwin turns away.

I wasn't sure it would, again.

Oh.

For someone who rarely experiences sexual interest, it still never occurred to him that most people who do could have it just...stop. From the sound of it, it wasn't something that Erwin had expected either way. It can be strange and jarring, when your body doesn't react how you're used to, in either direction.

He's silent a moment, and then leans close again to leave a soft kiss at the corner of Erwin's lips, hoping to coax him back again. If that isn't enough, he'll shift a hand to set a gentle palm to Erwin's cheek to turn his face back, and nuzzle their foreheads together.

"Let me help," he mumbles lowly between them. "I-..." He lets out a breath, hands pressing against Erwin's neck to dissuade him from going anywhere. "I haven't. With anyone. So I-..."

Fuck. It's Levi's turn for a flush to blossom over his face, ears growing warm. But this close, Erwin at least can't see it right away. It's not something he's admitted - to anyone, really, content to let people make their assumptions and not correct them either way. It feels stupid to be embarrassed about it even so, but it's only fair for Erwin to know what he's in for. He knows plenty of the theoretical and mechanical how, he's just never really had to put any of it into practice. Certainly never on another person.

So he just might need a little guidance.

It's very easy for Levi to redirect Erwin's attention back to him. This isn't really something Erwin cares to dwell on; his dick wasn't working, and now it is again, and he sees no reason to delve into all the possible reasons for its few months extended leave. He knows, on some level, that this is connected to all the other stressors in his life, but he'd rather not poke that nest of snakes. Things are going well enough here; there's no need to disturb the peace.

He comes out of his own thoughts quickly enough when Levi offers to help, then admits his own inexperience. It's something Erwin has suspected for a long time, but never had any reason to question or investigate further. Most people in the Survey Corps had assumed Levi simply wasn't interested in sex, Erwin included; even here, in this world, he's thought Levi was content with kissing and the closeness they have and didn't need anything else. Him offering to help is both exciting and a little worrying.

"I don't want you doing anything you don't want to do." Erwin catches that blush, though, even with how close their faces are, and he dips his head to kiss along Levi's neck again. That, he knows Levi likes. "I can take care of it myself if it's not something you're interested in."

He hadn't been interested, at all. Most of the time it just never occurred to him, either mentally or physically. But ever since they did start spending more time close to one another, kissing, curling together on the couch or falling asleep together in bed, Levi's found himself thinking about it more. His thoughts, though, have been less of specific fantasies and more just realizing the physical sensations of arousal more frequently when they're together, when Erwin touches or kisses him a certain way and Levi feels his blood run hotter under his skin and his pulse hitch into a faster pace suddenly - like the way it does now when Erwin leaves more kisses along his neck.

Perhaps his reactions to those touches before have been too subtle, blending in with contented sighs or hidden away when he's just buried against the man's larger form, intent on stealing his warmth. But since nothing they did ever seemed to elicit any kind of obvious interest on Erwin's part either, it'd been easy enough to ignore. They had both seemed satisfied, and if Levi had recently awoken once or twice from his much shorter time asleep to find his own cock hard, he'd either willed it away or slipped away to take care of it quietly.

But Erwin doesn't know that, and he still tries to give him the opportunity to rescind the offer. The easy thoughtfulness stirs up a whirl of emotion in his chest, and Levi twists his fingers into Erwin's shirt to tighten his hold. When so many people would meet him with frustration or suffocating fussiness, Erwin is nothing but patience and understanding. Levi knows he can be difficult to understand, let alone tolerate enough to befriend or - somehow - love. But even when they've had their difficulties, Erwin has never been callous or cruel or dismissive, but meets him with acceptance and understanding.

On top of all that, he's fucking gorgeous. So yeah - Levi's thought about it.

This time, when soft lips move over his pulse and just under his ear, his breath audibly catches, and Levi feels his toes curl reflexively.

"I-" breathe, dammit. "...I want to." He licks his lips, trying to organize his thoughts. "I wouldn't offer to touch your dick if I didn't actually want to." That much, Erwin should trust. "But I also can't promise it'll be good or I'll want anything from you or-"

Fuck, he's rambling. Maybe he should ask Erwin to just drop him off the side of the treehouse and put them both out of his misery instead.

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you write beautiful, thoughtful tags, and I respond with this

lol tbf I didn't give you much to respond to, Levi's just up in his head :')

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