Whether anyone has done anything to deserve having Erwin in their lives is another story, but not one Erwin wants to get into today. No, today is a day for just letting Levi melt against him and cuddling him in return. It's pretty clear that this whole confession was difficult for him, and Erwin can't say he blames him; he's still learning the depths of Levi's neuroses around intimacy, and who knows what he picked up regarding having multiple partners? Although maybe he's been listening to the kids and learning to imitate whatever random bed-hopping they're doing.
"Good." Levi deserves all the love in the world, and Erwin hopes against hope that maybe, just maybe, he can learn to recognise that here, in Somnius, and take it with him back to their world. He hates the thought of Levi being alone forever, the sole survivor of the old Survey Corps, the last of their friends left standing. He wants him to find love again someday, and if that means practicing with Finnick, Levi could certainly do worse or have shittier taste.
"You should keep spending time with him. Keep making each other happy." Because obviously Levi is making Finnick happy too!
It's hard to say, really; of course he's plenty aware of monogamy and things like marriage - multiple partners didn't appear to be that much of a norm in the wider society within the walls, but little of that has had much bearing on Levi's lived experience. The Underground was about survival, and while some people certainly did have families, few of them looked much like what anyone above might recognize. Broken, scattered, or worse. Gangs made things both easier and harder - more people to rely on, but more mouths to feed - but Levi never cared enough to pay attention to such personal details. It was similar in the Survey Corps, even if he occasionally caught wind by happenstance of who might be fucking who or 'going together' or whatever; none of it mattered to him, so long as it didn't get in the way of his leading a team. If asked, he wouldn't think much of it one way or the other, since it didn't involve him. Probably multiple people had multiple partners of whatever combination of genders, and in many ways, that just...made sense.
But he's never really had to think about it until now. Levi wouldn't really consider either of them especially jealous - what was the point, when they already knew what they were to each other, trusted each other more than anything and anyone else? It doesn't stop the anxiety, of course, the dread that somehow because someone else has managed to catch his eye (heretofore a thing even Levi didn't believe possible) Erwin might think his attention and love would lessen...but nothing could be further from the truth.
Seeing their younger compatriots form multiple strong bonds certainly helps, too.
Yet it is that very thing, the fear of being alone at the end of their world, that seems a little less awful now, thanks to Finnick. Even that wouldn't have been possible without Erwin, though; truly, he's done most of the heavy lifting navigating Levi's discomforts, gently and patiently allowing him to figure it all out at his own pace.
He holds onto Erwin a little more tightly. Does he make Finnick happy in the same way? Sources say most likely yes, but it's all still...very much new territory.
"You're not getting rid of me that easily," he grumbles (for legal reasons: this is a joke). "As long as you're happy, too."
Erwin chuckles softly into Levi's hair. "I wouldn't ever try to get rid of you."
How could he? Levi is the only one who has ever really seen Erwin, observed him with all of his flaws and imperfections, saw him with the mask off and his guard down, and kept coming back. Levi is the only person Erwin allows himself to be truly himself around--even Mike and Hange never got the full treatment, although they came the closest after Levi--and Erwin will never not appreciate that.
"Yes. I'm happy you're happy." Which is true! But also getting a little too close to the truth for comfort; for all Erwin values being able to let walls down around Levi, there are some that are harder than others to overcome. He shifts Levi on his lap, arranging him so they're both a little more comfortable. "You should ask Finnick how he'd feel about kissing two old men at the same time."
Half joking, half serious. Easier to deflect to the idea of a threesome than to admit that, for all he's glad that Levi is finding someone new to love, the thought also sends little pinpricks of grief through Erwin's heart. Levi will move someday, and while that's the best thing for him, it still hurts that Erwin won't be there beside him for the rest of his days.
Erwin will be gone, but Levi will never really move on from him. There will never be a day in his life that goes by where he doesn't think of him, where he doesn't wish he were at his side more than anything. Erwin will never not be at the forefront of his mind and heart, even if he does manage to find someone new to love. It will never diminish the bond that they had. If their world had been any less cruel, they should have been able to live out their lives together.
But this is what they get now, and he'll always treasure each and every second.
Levi adjusts into one of their usual positions when Erwin recites poetry to him, buried close, tucked into his arms, one hand resting lightly over Erwin's chest near his heart. There's truly no better feeling than this.
He makes a little noise like a snort, but perhaps surprisingly, doesn't dismiss the idea outright.
"Maybe I will. Not like that, though; he might think we're a couple of weird perverts." He brushes his lips lightly against Erwin's jaw, noses at his cheek. "You ain't that old."
At first Levi frowns at him, nose scrunching a bit, because he definitely doesn't get the joke.
But Erwin's laughing - giggling ridiculously and giddy, and he decides that whatever the reason for it doesn't matter, because it's one of the most precious sounds he's ever hears.
At once, practically all of his anxiety lifts away, because he can't think about anything else being more important than this. Levi huffs in fond, loving exasperation, and wraps his arms around Erwin's neck to drag him closer, as though he could absorb that laughter directly into his skin, keep it in the marrow of his bones. He hides a smile against Erwin's throat as he grumbles out:
"Well, you are a fucking weirdo, that's for sure."
It was a bad joke. Erwin can do a lot of things well, but tell coherent, actually funny jokes tends not to be among them.
Oh, well. At least he's amused himself, and he knows the subtle tells in Levi's voice enough to recognise that he's hiding a smile against Erwin's neck. When Levi scoots closer, Erwin winnows his arm under his legs and pulls him up against his chest, cradling him like he's holding an oversized cat.
"Hmmm, that's true. Better make sure your new boyfriend doesn't mind weirdos hanging around."
If he really was a cat, he'd be purring, loudly, right into Erwin's ear. Instead, he's sighing, utterly content, snuggled as close as he can be as he (like a cat) leans all of his weight onto Erwin's chest.
"Well," he mumbles into the little nook he's made for himself. "Haven't scared him away yet...so he's gotta be into that at least a little, or something."
If Burnt Rice weren't already preoccupied shedding fur all over their pillowcases, she'd come in, see this scene, and go wild with jealousy. All this cuddling, and no cat! Jail! Jail for fathers, one thousand years!
Or maybe she'd just saunter over and join them, appreciating a quality cuddle pile like any self-respecting cat would.
"Well, he knows a lot about strange sea animals and doesn't mind teaching us about them. Perhaps there's a bit of weirdo hidden in him, too." Erwin uses one hand to smooth Levi's hair away from his face. "You should invite him over for dinner again."
Levi's definitely figured out to drape a sheet over their bed for the day to keep cat hair off where they actually sleep. He also thoroughly brushes the beast every day so that she sheds as little of that fur elsewhere as possible. There's designated coverings for her favorite spots to lay that can also be easily cleaned that takes effort for him not to wash every single day. He's got a system down now.
"Mm," he sighs softly, blissfully content at being pet. "Cracking open shells to eat the weird slimy things inside, wonder who first thought'a that."
Levi brushes a soft kiss to the corner of Erwin's mouth, almost askance. "All right, I will. We should make him something, this time."
'We' of course primarily meaning Erwin, but Levi has taken to cooking a thing or two now and then, lately.
Levi's little system for the cat only serves to convince Erwin that he actually likes her, and doesn't mind having her around. If nothing else, the mimic has been cowed into staying in the hermit crab enclosure, so there haven't been any random bites lately.
"Someone very hungry, I imagine." Maybe they saw something else eating the oysters first? Erwin isn't sure how anyone would realise they were food without that kind of cue.
He chuckles and returns Levi's kiss. "All right. He showed up oysters and mussels, we should think of something unique from our world. How do you think he'd feel about my mother's apple cake?"
Erwin can think that, except the truth is closer to that he's coping with living with a creature that Erwin wanted and seems to make him happy, and Levi loves Erwin, so his feelings on the cat in this regard are irrelevant - except that he bitches, loudly, whenever he finds puke or hairballs on the floor in the morning.
In some regards, he'd rather have the mimic. At least it didn't leave fur everywhere.
Anyway, at the mention of apple cake, Levi visibly perks up. He's not much of one for sweets, but he seems to make exceptions for things involving apples.
"Doesn't matter. If he hates it, more for us." More for him, really. "That's not dinner, though."
Correction: the mimic doesn't leave fur everywhere yet. Just wait until it's no longer afraid of Burnt Rice and starts turning into another cat.
"No, we can't just feed him apple cake." Erwin is well aware of Levi's feelings on apple cake, and isn't the slightest bit worried about there being leftovers, even if Finnick hates it.
"The weather is starting to get colder. How about a nice stew?"
He's going to get a lock for that mimic's cage. Maybe make it live with Hange's hermit crabs.
"Hm," he muses, nestling in more. They've done this so many times by now, it's like they fit perfectly together like pieces of a puzzle. This limb this way, this limb that way, head here. "So long as we don't hit another hot spell, that should be fine."
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13thcommander) wrote2027-11-09 11:35 am
no subject
Whether anyone has done anything to deserve having Erwin in their lives is another story, but not one Erwin wants to get into today. No, today is a day for just letting Levi melt against him and cuddling him in return. It's pretty clear that this whole confession was difficult for him, and Erwin can't say he blames him; he's still learning the depths of Levi's neuroses around intimacy, and who knows what he picked up regarding having multiple partners? Although maybe he's been listening to the kids and learning to imitate whatever random bed-hopping they're doing.
"Good." Levi deserves all the love in the world, and Erwin hopes against hope that maybe, just maybe, he can learn to recognise that here, in Somnius, and take it with him back to their world. He hates the thought of Levi being alone forever, the sole survivor of the old Survey Corps, the last of their friends left standing. He wants him to find love again someday, and if that means practicing with Finnick, Levi could certainly do worse or have shittier taste.
"You should keep spending time with him. Keep making each other happy." Because obviously Levi is making Finnick happy too!
no subject
But he's never really had to think about it until now. Levi wouldn't really consider either of them especially jealous - what was the point, when they already knew what they were to each other, trusted each other more than anything and anyone else? It doesn't stop the anxiety, of course, the dread that somehow because someone else has managed to catch his eye (heretofore a thing even Levi didn't believe possible) Erwin might think his attention and love would lessen...but nothing could be further from the truth.
Seeing their younger compatriots form multiple strong bonds certainly helps, too.
Yet it is that very thing, the fear of being alone at the end of their world, that seems a little less awful now, thanks to Finnick. Even that wouldn't have been possible without Erwin, though; truly, he's done most of the heavy lifting navigating Levi's discomforts, gently and patiently allowing him to figure it all out at his own pace.
He holds onto Erwin a little more tightly. Does he make Finnick happy in the same way? Sources say most likely yes, but it's all still...very much new territory.
"You're not getting rid of me that easily," he grumbles (for legal reasons: this is a joke). "As long as you're happy, too."
no subject
How could he? Levi is the only one who has ever really seen Erwin, observed him with all of his flaws and imperfections, saw him with the mask off and his guard down, and kept coming back. Levi is the only person Erwin allows himself to be truly himself around--even Mike and Hange never got the full treatment, although they came the closest after Levi--and Erwin will never not appreciate that.
"Yes. I'm happy you're happy." Which is true! But also getting a little too close to the truth for comfort; for all Erwin values being able to let walls down around Levi, there are some that are harder than others to overcome. He shifts Levi on his lap, arranging him so they're both a little more comfortable. "You should ask Finnick how he'd feel about kissing two old men at the same time."
Half joking, half serious. Easier to deflect to the idea of a threesome than to admit that, for all he's glad that Levi is finding someone new to love, the thought also sends little pinpricks of grief through Erwin's heart. Levi will move someday, and while that's the best thing for him, it still hurts that Erwin won't be there beside him for the rest of his days.
no subject
But this is what they get now, and he'll always treasure each and every second.
Levi adjusts into one of their usual positions when Erwin recites poetry to him, buried close, tucked into his arms, one hand resting lightly over Erwin's chest near his heart. There's truly no better feeling than this.
He makes a little noise like a snort, but perhaps surprisingly, doesn't dismiss the idea outright.
"Maybe I will. Not like that, though; he might think we're a couple of weird perverts." He brushes his lips lightly against Erwin's jaw, noses at his cheek. "You ain't that old."
no subject
"But Levi..." he bends down, deliberately touching one of Levi's eyebrows with the tip of his nose, "I am a weird old pervert."
And then Erwin breaks out in giggles, sounding remarkably like a teenaged boy. That was an excellent joke, and he nailed it.
no subject
But Erwin's laughing - giggling ridiculously and giddy, and he decides that whatever the reason for it doesn't matter, because it's one of the most precious sounds he's ever hears.
At once, practically all of his anxiety lifts away, because he can't think about anything else being more important than this. Levi huffs in fond, loving exasperation, and wraps his arms around Erwin's neck to drag him closer, as though he could absorb that laughter directly into his skin, keep it in the marrow of his bones. He hides a smile against Erwin's throat as he grumbles out:
"Well, you are a fucking weirdo, that's for sure."
no subject
Oh, well. At least he's amused himself, and he knows the subtle tells in Levi's voice enough to recognise that he's hiding a smile against Erwin's neck. When Levi scoots closer, Erwin winnows his arm under his legs and pulls him up against his chest, cradling him like he's holding an oversized cat.
"Hmmm, that's true. Better make sure your new boyfriend doesn't mind weirdos hanging around."
no subject
If he really was a cat, he'd be purring, loudly, right into Erwin's ear. Instead, he's sighing, utterly content, snuggled as close as he can be as he (like a cat) leans all of his weight onto Erwin's chest.
"Well," he mumbles into the little nook he's made for himself. "Haven't scared him away yet...so he's gotta be into that at least a little, or something."
no subject
Or maybe she'd just saunter over and join them, appreciating a quality cuddle pile like any self-respecting cat would.
"Well, he knows a lot about strange sea animals and doesn't mind teaching us about them. Perhaps there's a bit of weirdo hidden in him, too." Erwin uses one hand to smooth Levi's hair away from his face. "You should invite him over for dinner again."
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"Mm," he sighs softly, blissfully content at being pet. "Cracking open shells to eat the weird slimy things inside, wonder who first thought'a that."
Levi brushes a soft kiss to the corner of Erwin's mouth, almost askance. "All right, I will. We should make him something, this time."
'We' of course primarily meaning Erwin, but Levi has taken to cooking a thing or two now and then, lately.
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"Someone very hungry, I imagine." Maybe they saw something else eating the oysters first? Erwin isn't sure how anyone would realise they were food without that kind of cue.
He chuckles and returns Levi's kiss. "All right. He showed up oysters and mussels, we should think of something unique from our world. How do you think he'd feel about my mother's apple cake?"
no subject
In some regards, he'd rather have the mimic. At least it didn't leave fur everywhere.
Anyway, at the mention of apple cake, Levi visibly perks up. He's not much of one for sweets, but he seems to make exceptions for things involving apples.
"Doesn't matter. If he hates it, more for us." More for him, really. "That's not dinner, though."
no subject
"No, we can't just feed him apple cake." Erwin is well aware of Levi's feelings on apple cake, and isn't the slightest bit worried about there being leftovers, even if Finnick hates it.
"The weather is starting to get colder. How about a nice stew?"
no subject
"Hm," he muses, nestling in more. They've done this so many times by now, it's like they fit perfectly together like pieces of a puzzle. This limb this way, this limb that way, head here. "So long as we don't hit another hot spell, that should be fine."
And really, he could eat stew any time.
"I'll ask him."