Nearly everything they do is new to Levi - on a practical level, at least. He's long been well aware of the mechanics and consequences of sex, of the play of power and the physical reality of it. Some of his earliest memories are of hiding in a cupboard as his mother worked, being a good little boy and staying quiet for her. He didn't understand what much of what he'd overheard and seen meant until he was older, though not by much.
It's difficult to say if his aversion to most touch was because of it or just exacerbated by the things that he witnessed nearly daily in the underground. Abuse and coercion were rampant, but it was not always so. He knew plenty about what it all meant by the time he entered his teenage years, but never once felt a real desire to do anything with anyone, to touch or be touched by anyone else, especially not like that, or like this, or like anything. One or two tried, and left disappointed, if not outright terrified and were never seen again.
Later, he'd considered Farlan, once. All right - more than once, but after their first and only kiss, Levi hadn't known at all what to do, had disappeared for two days and by the time he returned, Farlan had understandably taken that for his answer and never asked about it again. After that, Levi had had no fucking clue what to do, too embarrassed to broach the topic let alone ask for anything else, and eventually whatever that could have been settled into the closest friendship he'd ever had until that time.
But then he was gone.
...and then there was Erwin.
Even after several weeks since that day in the labyrinth, they've been so wholly content to just be close, to curl up together, to kiss and hold and breathe in. And perhaps lately, Levi's began to wonder, to notice more, all the things about Erwin that he's never not thought about before, but could far more easily set aside when it seemed it would never amount to anything. Erwin is tall and strong and handsome and just so fucking unbearably attractive, it's just as well that it's easy to shut down that part of himself, because how else could he have been expected to function with those eyes and that chest and those thighs just walking around?
Fuck.
So he's thought about it, but thinking and doing are two far different experiences, and so often whenever they're close Levi just finds himself soothed rather than aroused, sinking into Erwin's solid, reassuring presence and finding solace in the beat of his heart.
That's all true still even now, but in this particular moment, want seems to tingle at his fingertips, and perhaps could even eventually travel to lower, needier places.
Which is all to say that it takes him a moment, but then he's fully aware of just what is pressing against his leg. That little groan had likewise done something to him, shivering along his spine and making him lean more into the kiss. He's not quite sure what to do yet - of if even Erwin is aware of just how obvious he is yet (and fuck, he's huge, right? he has to be. Levi's caught brief glimpses of him flaccid, and he can't even begin to imagine what that looks like fully erect--)
Levi feels his toes flex, his thighs tense around the hips between them, and kisses Erwin deeply. Perhaps he's still sorting things out, or just waiting for Erwin's lead here, but if the man somehow doesn't notice after a minute...well then he'll have to say something, won't he?
His right hand is still settled at the back of Erwin's neck, the other smoothing out over his chest and splaying his fingers wide, as though to feel for the pace of his breath and the beating of his heart. Alive. Here. His.
no subject
It's difficult to say if his aversion to most touch was because of it or just exacerbated by the things that he witnessed nearly daily in the underground. Abuse and coercion were rampant, but it was not always so. He knew plenty about what it all meant by the time he entered his teenage years, but never once felt a real desire to do anything with anyone, to touch or be touched by anyone else, especially not like that, or like this, or like anything. One or two tried, and left disappointed, if not outright terrified and were never seen again.
Later, he'd considered Farlan, once. All right - more than once, but after their first and only kiss, Levi hadn't known at all what to do, had disappeared for two days and by the time he returned, Farlan had understandably taken that for his answer and never asked about it again. After that, Levi had had no fucking clue what to do, too embarrassed to broach the topic let alone ask for anything else, and eventually whatever that could have been settled into the closest friendship he'd ever had until that time.
But then he was gone.
...and then there was Erwin.
Even after several weeks since that day in the labyrinth, they've been so wholly content to just be close, to curl up together, to kiss and hold and breathe in. And perhaps lately, Levi's began to wonder, to notice more, all the things about Erwin that he's never not thought about before, but could far more easily set aside when it seemed it would never amount to anything. Erwin is tall and strong and handsome and just so fucking unbearably attractive, it's just as well that it's easy to shut down that part of himself, because how else could he have been expected to function with those eyes and that chest and those thighs just walking around?
Fuck.
So he's thought about it, but thinking and doing are two far different experiences, and so often whenever they're close Levi just finds himself soothed rather than aroused, sinking into Erwin's solid, reassuring presence and finding solace in the beat of his heart.
That's all true still even now, but in this particular moment, want seems to tingle at his fingertips, and perhaps could even eventually travel to lower, needier places.
Which is all to say that it takes him a moment, but then he's fully aware of just what is pressing against his leg. That little groan had likewise done something to him, shivering along his spine and making him lean more into the kiss. He's not quite sure what to do yet - of if even Erwin is aware of just how obvious he is yet (and fuck, he's huge, right? he has to be. Levi's caught brief glimpses of him flaccid, and he can't even begin to imagine what that looks like fully erect--)
Levi feels his toes flex, his thighs tense around the hips between them, and kisses Erwin deeply. Perhaps he's still sorting things out, or just waiting for Erwin's lead here, but if the man somehow doesn't notice after a minute...well then he'll have to say something, won't he?
His right hand is still settled at the back of Erwin's neck, the other smoothing out over his chest and splaying his fingers wide, as though to feel for the pace of his breath and the beating of his heart. Alive. Here. His.