reviling: (so make all your last demands)
Cᴀᴘᴛᴀɪɴ Lᴇᴠɪ ([personal profile] reviling) wrote in [personal profile] 13thcommander 2023-10-05 10:26 pm (UTC)

It's hardly that he's unaccustomed to the intensity of Erwin's risk-taking; the man has gambled with his own life more times than Levi particularly cares to count, and between having his arm bitten off and still managing to save Eren before passing out as well as staging a bloodless coups to overthrow a false king only weeks later, to outright refuse to stay behind on what is most likely to mean certain death, it's a particular kind of stress he's well acquainted with.

The point is that the only thing he really can trust here is Erwin. To trust what he says, trust his judgment, trust that he understands the risks even if he's going to take them anyway. Perhaps that had been Levi's biggest source of anxiety in the moment, that he just needed reassurance and acknowledgment that he's read the situation correctly, that they're on the same page of understanding. But short of someone being an active threat, it's not as though Levi can demand certain behaviors from either Erwin or Kimbley or anyone else.

Everything is different here. He's adapted, because he's had to. Some things are better, some strange shit is routine now, other stuff he's written off as not worth the bother to try to puzzle out, can be someone else's problem. But something is under his skin, distant but constant, and not sharp or formed enough that he can pinpoint it well enough or long enough to do anything about.

This helps, though. Erwin helps. And so Levi just tries to focus on what he can feel and hear and let everything else evaporate, even if just for a little while.

"It's all right," he mutters, not making any motions to move but squeezing Erwin's hand briefly. "I'll be fine so long as you stay in one piece."

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